Oh what a night!

Sunday night... we all know what that means. The trip to the grandparent's. Jill went along last night. When we went out for supper it was super foggy... Jill ended up staying the night. She had to leave early today because she had to conduct an interview at the fire dept. and she's making pork chop casserole for her family. I'm making a roast that I think I'll turn into pot pie. I'm thinking I'm gonna write out some bills and maybe clean a little today... and that's all the news, folks!

Oh, I. I got a funny feeling when she walked
In the room and I,
As I recall it ended much too soon.

Oh, what a night,
Hypnotizing, mesmerizing me.
She was everything I dreamed she'd be.
Sweet surrender, what a night!

I felt a rush like a rolling bolt of thunder
Spinnin' my head around and taking my body under.
Oh, what a night!

Oh, I. I got a funny feeling when she walked
In the room and I,
As I recall it ended much too soon.

Life is better on vacation...

Ok, I've been on vacation since seven o'clock on Friday... Since then I've played DoD, slept, went to Beatles Fest with Jill and just kinda hung out.

I went up to Beatles Fest last night... We all know that crowds aren't my thing, especially when there is drinking involved. The only reason I went was to be with Jill. The bands were pretty good, the music was awesome, and of course it was great to be with Jillian. I crashed at her place last night, we didn't get outta bed until this afternoon... I came home and got around and she went with her momma grocery shopping. She's coming down and going along to the grandparent's tonight.

I think I'll work on my room and do some other stuff around the house tomorrow... I plan on having a nice relaxing vacation so I want to get this stuff done and outta the way so I can play DoD! *grins* Ok, love ya, bye bye!

it was the best of times... orrrr not

Today... *checks clock* ... or yesterday as the case may now be. I worked 10-7 and to be honest...Not much happening at work other than the stupid stuff that Wal-Mart goes through every so often. I got some pics developed for my sister, blew up a pic of Jill and I, and sent out my negative to get another print blown up for mom. Work was uneventful otherwise.

Monica had a date tonight... dunno a whole lot about it. She and Mom were having a conversation about it and with all the hooplah that I've been through lately I kinda stayed outta it. *shrugs* I don't think any of it's anything major so no biggie.

I called Jillian tonight... she was at the firehall because they had a call. She didn't seem herself to me... she said she was fine but I'm telling you, I got the sense something was bothering her. She kinda let off some steam about her mom... but I'm not sure that was all that was goin on. I wonder if she thought I'd come up tonight, seeing as how she's off and I got off work at seven. I didn't because I know she has a VERY full day tomorrow... she has class all day long and then Beatles Fest immediately after... she needs some sleep. I hope it's not me who upset her. :-/

I'm on vacation for NINE GLORIOUS DAYS!!! WooHoo! I'm hoping to spend a lot of time with Jill and maybe even get some things done around the house.... we'll see.

Anyway... I'm off.

A Brief Message From Our Sponsor

Hello, friends! Ever have that feeling that you simply must say what's on your mind? Well, I do too and that is why I must say "I miss you, Jill. I just want to curl up with you and let time stand still or fly on by. I don't care as long as we are in each other's arms. I love you, baby!" That is all... we now return you to your regularly scheduled internet.

A wonderful few days

Well... it's been a few days. Here's what happened... LOL!

I did call off on Tuesday. I woke up and looked out the window to see the road in front of my house covered with snow and slush. I thought perhaps the main roads would be better so I called Mom at work. She said they were terrible when she went in but she thought that in the ensuing coupla hours they mighta cleared them up. So I started getting around for work and she called me back to let me know that one of the people who had just come in at her job told her that the roads were still a mess. So I stayed home and played video games. *grins*

Yesterday? I played some more video games (DoD rules!) and then made barbecued pork chops, filling and corn for supper. I didn't eat though, I had a headache. I left a little after that and went to Seth's to hang for a while... and then I went up to Jill's. I love that girl with all of my heart and soul. I wish I were with you always, baby! I spent the night up there. We went to lunch with her mom and two of her uncles and then we just kinda chilled for a while.

I finally came home around six thirty or seven tonight... now I'm just gonna chill. I work 10-7 the next two days and then I'm on vacation! Woot!

I'm outtie!

Early Morning

Yeah, today I worked 7-3... It was just me until ten today. I texted Jill since I knew she'd still be up. Turns out she stopped into the store this morn. It was such a pleasant surprise. I had thought I wouldn't get to see her until Tues when we're both off.

The weather is supposed to be icky... as a matter of fact it's already sleeting outside. I'm supposed to be working 10-7 tomorrow but we'll see how travel is gonna be in the morning.

Time for a shameless plea... I'm looking for Uncle Kracker's song Aces & Eights. If anyone has or knows where I can get that particular MP3 please let me know.

I don't have much to say... just really tired right now and I have a headache. *Shrugs* Ah well... I'm outtie!

Excitement? Nah!

Nothing major going on with me... My sister and her family were here for a little while today. I took some pics of them as I was asked to. My nephews love DOD as much as I do I think. *nods* My nieces are holy terrors and won't listen to anyone.

I don't really have much news to report. Just work and things. I did set up my personal MS Walk page today. You can view it by clicking this link. If anyone wants to know anything or has any questions please feel free to ask. I will do my best.

And yeah... no one really cares about anything else that I might have to say here... so I'm gone. Besides, I have to turn around and be right back to work at seven tomorrow morn after working until eleven tonight. YUCK!

So when are you gonna...???

Yesterday I worked until eleven and it was Jill's night off. So what did I do? That's right I went to Jill's after work. I was so excited to see her but was so disappointed that she was gonna sleep. I had to work today at ten and knew I couldn't stay long. So here she was gonna sleep for the little bit of time we had together? We had a conversation about it and it made me feel soooo much better knowing how she felt. I went from feeling unimportant, like I could just be ignored, to feeling like the most loved guy in the world just because of that conversation.

I told Jill yesterday about how everyone at work keeps asking when she and I are gonna get married. My family is constantly asking me and harassing me about it. Well... her family is doing the same to her. *chuckles* I guess that's a good sign that they see how happy we make each other. I know I'm miserable without her and ecstatic when I know I'm gonna get to see her.

Today I had to work at ten... I didn't get home last night until around three. *nods* Yeah, not much sleep going on there. I made it to work on time and not much happening there. I got to leave at four because of how dead it was.

One of my nephews and one of my nieces are spending the night here tonight. I helped my nephew with some homework and he wanted to play some games... I fell asleep. *chuckles* Now I'm awake and he's chilling watching tv. My niece and my mom are sound asleep.

Is this post making any sense to anyone? LOL! I dunno if it is or not... but I do know it's time for me to get on outta here. I think I might play some DOD. Lata!

A Sentiment

Just got off the phone with Jill... That girl still amazes me. I love her with all of my heart. I've come to realize that when I'm with her all of the rest of the world doesn't seem to matter. All of my cares, concerns and worries disappear. It's when I'm NOT with her that I worry and let things bother me. What it all comes down to is this.... I love you, Jill.

"I guarantee that we'll have tough
times. I guarantee that at some point
one or both oof us will want to get out.
But I also guarantee that if I don't
ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for
the rest of my life. Because I know in
my heart -- you're the only one for me."

Stuck in a Moment

So today Jill came down for lunch... I got up early and put steak in the oven. I did up the dishes and got around. I made roasted potatoes, carmelized lima beans, and iced tea to go with dinner... Jill came down about one and she, Monica and I had a nice lunch. Monica left for work and Jill and I talked. I told her about why I was depressed last night. How I felt and why. I told her about Mom and Monica and how I sometimes feel that with her busy schedule, time with me is an afterthought and not a priority. I know she loves me and she again drove that point home... I have no real reason for feeling that way other than being selfish I suppose. Anyway... I have all those other things to do that I mentioned last night. I haven't really done much to get that stuff done... I hafta get started.

Garth Brooks: You Move Me

This is how it seems to me
Life is only therapy
Real expensive
And no guarantee

So I lie here on the couch
With my heart hanging out
Frozen solid with fear
Like a rock in the ground

But you move me
You give me courage I didn't
know I had
You move me on
I can't go with you
And stay where I am
So you move me on

This is how love was to me
I could look and not see
Going through the emotions
Not knowin' what they mean

And it scared me so much
That I just wouldn't budge
I might have stayed there forever
If not for your touch

Oh but you move me
Out of myself and into the fire
You move me
Now I'm burning with love
And with hope and desire
How you move me

You go whistling in the dark
Making light of it
Making light of it
And I follow with my heart
Laughing all the way

Oh 'cause you move me
You get me dancing and you
make me sing
You move me
Now I'm taking delight
In every little thing
How you move me

Searching for signifigance

Ok... so today. Work called me while I was still sorta sleeping to tell me that they wanted me to work a later shift. *chuckles* Ironic isn't it?

I just felt kinda "blah" today... dunno why. Then when I called Jill while I was on my lunch it just really hit me. I felt insignificant... Like nothing I do matters... Like I don't matter. I get moods like that sometimes and I hate it. This one really bothered me though because I know I upset Jill. I guess I just let too much get to me. Little things piled up and me being me, I let them blow up into a bad mood. I left a "blah" day color my thinking and it kicked my butt. Jill asked me what my issue was while I was on the phone with her... I didn't tell her. I didn't really know what the real problem was... I just knew what I was thinking about and I didn't want to tell her... I didn't want to upset her. Still don't so when you read this, honey... don't worry about it. It's just me listening to BS again and I know it's wrong... You've told me as much previously.

I'm off tomorrow. Good things! I have some work to do on my comp, gonna catch up on some bills and Jill is coming down for lunch.

Yeah... I just don't have the ambition to write anything anymore... so I'm gone.

singingfool.com video codes

Make this your own

Yeeeeah, Baaaaby!

Woot! I've got my comp back... it's working for now. *chuckles* It's a hardware issue that though working now... might still need looked into a little more at some point. All that matters right now though is that I got it back! *does a little dance*

Anyway... My weekend? I was off on Friday and did pretty much NOTHING! Loved it!

Saturday, I worked on putting pics into photo albums and things... then I went to Jillian's. We went to see Walk the Line with her family. Good movie, btw! Then we kinda hung out for a little while... Jillian fell asleep. *smirks* She ALWAYS falls asleep... anyway.... We went to shoot some pool and then we crashed. Sunday I worked until eleven and then I headed up the line to see my girl. *grins* We just kinda chilled for a while and then went to Mark and Christina's, played a game, they fought and we left. Kinda uncomfortable watching other people fight... reminds me of growing up, watching Mom and Dad fight. Soooo not kewl.

Today? I worked... was late. Ooops! *smirks* I've been running late a lot again... my own stupid fault. Though, I do partly blame Jill... ;-) *smirks* I love you, baby! *blows a kiss*

Alright... I've got things to do... I'm outtie!

The clock says what?!?!?!

Ok... I normally call Jill at 1:30 every morning, seeing as how she works third shift. Lately the old scoundrel was proving he's old by falling asleep and not making that call. Thursday night I was lying in bed thinking that I needed to go drop my computer off but I didn't feel like moving. Of course I fell asleep having never gone to drop my comp off or staying up late enough to call Jillian. I woke up Friday morning at 5:30!!! I'm never up that early unless a) I stayed up from the night before or b) I have an unbelievably cruel shift at work.... but I had gone to sleep and I was off that day. *smirks* So what do I do? I call Jill!!! *chuckles* I told her that I was gonna go drop off my computer (the coworker that agreed to look at it also works third shift) and then probably head out to breakfast. She told me that she was gonna leave work a little early and she'd go to breakfast with me. It was sooo nice. I still can't believe that I'm this lucky. That I fell in love with such a great friend. Anyway.... after breakfast she and I went back to wal-mart and did a little shopping.... well, she shopped and I tagged along. Afterwards we both went home and I went to bed. I found out later that she did NOT. Her mom was off so they kinda hung out. Jill dyed her hair. I sooo wanna see it! She's naturally a brunette and as most of you know dyes her hair blonde... well she picked up auburn this time around and I'm sooo excited! LOL! Anyway... she's off this weekend, I'm off today and don't work until three tomorrow... We're gonna go see Walk the Line tonight. *grins* I'm excited! Anyway... I'm just rambling now... I'm gone!

Here comes the rain again....

Well... I talked to a coworker about my computer and he's willing to have a look at it. I'm sooo excited. I miss my computer. It's like being without a friend.

I worked yesterday until eleven... I went up to Jill's after work (it being Tuesday she had bingo anyway). Jill, Mark, Derek and I went out to the truckstop for a VERY late dinner and then we chilled at Mark's for a little while. Of course I stayed at Jill's last night and didn't come home until about four tonight. *sighs* Perfection... that's all I can say. I mean, holding that one person that you love close to you and just letting the world go on by.... How does it get any better?

You know... it's raining again. *smiles* The first date that Jill and I had it rained that night. Now I can't sit through a rainstorm without thinking of her. *chuckles* Just like I can't sit through a thunderstorm and not think of my Father. This weekend is Jill's weekend off... I'm off Friday and Saturday so hopefully we can get together... and it's supposed to rain... and possibly snow.

Like the Rain
by Clint Black

I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you
Every thunder cloud that came was one more I might not get through
On the darkest day there's always light and now I see it too
But I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you
I hear it falling in the night and filling up my mind
All the heaven's rivers come to light and I see it all unwind
I hear it talking through the trees and on the window pane
And when I hear it I just can't believe I never liked the rain

Like the rain I have fallen for you and I know just why you
Liked the rain always calling for you I'm falling for you now
Just like the rain

When the cloud is rolling over thunder striking me
It's as bright as lightning and I wonder why I couldn't see
That it's always good and when the flood is gone we still remain
Guess I've known all along I just belong here with you falling

Like the rain I have fallen for you and I know just why you
Liked the rain always calling for you, I'm falling for you now
Just like the rain I have fallen for you
I'm falling for you know just like the rain

And when the night falls on our better days
And we're looking to the sky
For the winds to take us high above the plains
I know that we'll find better ways to look into the eye
of the storms that will be calling
Forever we'll be falling

Like the rain I have fallen for you, and I know just why you
Like the rain always calling for you, I'm falling for you now just
Like the rain I have fallen for you and I know just why you
Like the rain always calling for you, I'm falling for you now just
Like the rain I have fallen for you and I know just why you
Like the rain always calling for you, I'm falling for you now just
Like the rain
Like the rain
Like the rain
Like the rain
Like the rain
Like the rain

Greetings from the great beyond

Yes... it's happened again. I'm without my computer. I believe the power supply in my comp has gone bad and until I get it fixed... I'm in limbo. It seems so weird to not be able to turn to my comp for entertainment, information or anything. Hopefully it will get fixed soon enough.

What have I been up to? I've been fairly busy actually. Work, Jill, and my family... *nods* I used to complain that I had no life and now I'm constantly busy.

I don't really have many specifics to report... Most of you wouldn't be interested anyway. I have some errands to run today... make my car payment, talk to a coworker about getting my comp fixed, making some plans for Valentine's day, and the such... *grins* I'm not telling you either, Jill... You'll just hafta wait.

Anyway... I need to go. Get this stuff done.
I'm outtie!

A journey into the unknown

I haven't posted more than an accounting of the happenings of my day in quite some time. I thought I'd post something about which I've been thinking an awful lot lately. A question that really has no one right answer but several.

What is love?

That's it... that's the question. I keep telling you all about how much I love Jill and to be perfectly honest when I'm asked what love is, I find myself searching for the proper words. Everyone knows what love is... but no one can really define it. It's hard to break down into cold calculated words. So, I searched the internet and came up with a few things...

Everyone has an opinion on love, but few are brave enough to define it. This universal and apparently inconsistent emotion seems almost incapable of definition.

One definition of love is:

The affinity experienced between two people who are naturally able and willing to tune into one another's emotional, intellectual, and physical states - and respond to them in a nurturing and a stimulating way.

It's a mouthful that demands explanation. What is it that makes us 'willing' and 'naturally able' to love?

Let's start at the beginning - at the moment when someone new turns us on. Being 'turned on' is the immediate reason why we become willing to love someone. It's our response to their observable qualities.

But now we're on a journey into the unknown. The person that we think we see in front of us could well be a million miles from the person we are about to get involved with. We may walk in willing, but there's no guarantee that we'll end up loving.

The problem is that compatibility, the key ingredient for a long term successful relationship, lies hidden from view. If we could choose compatible partners by their outer characteristics, few relationships would fail.

We think we can spot compatibility, but the factors that govern compatibility are far too complex to be revealed by a simple intellectual assessment. In fact our intellectual abilities may well be a hindrance to partner-selection. In a love relationship, we interact in ways that our intellect can't decipher.

Only time reveals the truth. It's then that we face the crunch: is this the person we want to spend the rest of our life with; or is this the person we never want to see again? Is this someone whom we are naturally able to love; or is this someone from another planet?

It surfaces long after we find ourselves willing to love.

Historically, there has only been one way to find out if two people are 'naturally able' to love each other. They've had to put their relationship through the potentially heart-breaking test of time.

I edited that slightly... but I think the general gist of it remains. The dictionary definition seems to agree with that assessment.

Dictionary's definition of love:

Love is a strong liking for someone. It's a strong passionate affection for another person
A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.

*nods*
All very intriguing... but does it really explain WHAT love IS???

In that same search for a definition I came across this famous poem. It is about love but doesn't attempt to define it... more it shows us love's nature.

Sonnet XLIII, from the Portuguese.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning - 1806-1861

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, -I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Maybe that's it... the defition of love is not in what it IS but more in what it does? Well... if that's the case... then perhaps we have the ultimate definition given to us in the Bible.

That ye love one another, as I have loved you.
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

-- John 15:12b & 13

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth.

-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a


That is it... love is not a noun, but a verb. It's a word that implies an action, or a willingness to act. I have found that to be true in my life. Love is not something that we fall into but it is something that we do.

We are... Penn State!!!!

Yeah... just got done watching the triple overtime Orange Bowl game between Penn State and Florida State. *smiles* Definitely a nailbiter. Of course Penn State won. *smiles broader*

I did pretty much nothing today... I did take Christopher home this afternoon. But other than that... I did cook dinner.

*smiles*
My Jillian came down last night. She left work early because they were BEYOND dead. I love that girl soooo much. She left early today because she didn't sleep well... it was waaaay too warm in this house and this morning it was so noisy too. *sighs* I felt bad about it all. Of course she told me not to but... I couldn't help it. Being Tuesday she had bingo too.... so she needed some sleep.

Anyway... I'm gonna go. I have nothing else to report.

Oh, except... we are Penn State proud!

Happy New Year!

Ok... so I'm a little behind. Yeah, today is the second of January in the year of our Lord 2006. I rang in the new year just as I had hoped to... Curled up with Jillian. It was lovely.

Saturday I got up and put together Mom's new computer desk and then we just kinda chilled. I finally went up to Jill's and we went to her mom friend Kathy's party. We hung out there for a little while and then ditched. We went back to her place and watched the ball drop with her dad and then we curled up together and fell asleep watching Law & Order: Criminal Intent.

Sunday we woke up and came to have dinner with Mom, Monica and my grandfather. Sadly I had to go to work but at least I worked with Seth. After work I went to Mark's with Jill and we played games. I came home at like three this morning and crawled into my bed.

I had my alarm set for 9:40 this morning because I knew mom had wanted to do a few things today but she shut it off! *smirks* I got up a little after eleven. Mom and I found the networking things I needed in the shed and then we went to my sister's and to the mall. When we got home I set up Mom and Monica's new computer and I finally am getting a chance to just chill. It's marvelous because I plan on doing NOTHING tomorrow except watching the Penn State game.

I'm sure you're all sick of me... but I find myself missing Jill more and more these days and I'm around her more than ever. Every chance I get to be with her, I leap at. Like Seth says, I got it bad. *smirks* Ah well... I'm gonna go. My nephew is spending the night and I must be the good uncle. I'm outtie!