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No Sleep For the Wicked Child

So I've been lacking sleep the past coupla days... I didn't get a whole lot of sleep before going to work Friday 9-6... Then I went straight to Jill's. We went to Mark and Christina's and hung out. Played Scene It until some ungodly hour of the morning and then I took Jill home. I didn't make it home until 4:30 this morn and now I hafta be back at work by seven in the morn. Yuck! *smirks* Anyway... I gotta go... time to try to get some sleep.

A moment of ponderance....

I got to thinking today... a scary proposition, I know. I was thinking about Jill and I and whether I come off as being too needy or clingy or anything. It's just that I don't ever want her to have to guess about how I feel about her. I want her to always know what I think and how I feel. I grew up in a house with fighting parents who divorced when I was still very young. The adult couples I grew up around, I rarely heard them tell each other that they loved the other... It was rare they would even show affection. I don't want that. I want the people I love in my life to know it and I want to express it to them in every possible way every single day. My Father passed away and though I'm sure he knew I loved him... I feel guilty that I didn't tell him more, or show him. Take this as an opportunity, an invitation or a plea, to tell those you care about how you feel. I never want anyone to not know what they mean to me. I love all of you, my friends.

Bon Jovi / Trace Adkins

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Close your eyes and see the wonder around you

Ok... I expected yesterday to be a bad day. I thought Mom would throw a fit about this weekend and she didn't. It turned out to be a nice day. I got around and went to visit my grandparent's because Sat. was Gram's birthday. I took her card up to her and visited with her and Pap for a little while. I then went to town and got stuff to make supper. I came home and made lasagna.... MMMmmm it was sooo good. Mom and I talked some, worked with the dogs and watched tv. A good evening. *nods*

Today? It's a dreary, rainy day. Nothing major going on. I go to work at five tonight. Ick! Five to eleven, a stupid six hour shift. Oh well... hopefully it will be a slow night with decent management. I can pray anyway.

Yep.. Stepped in it again

So yeah... I stepped in it again. I worked 12-9 yesterday and went straight to Jill's since she has/had the weekend off. We sat around watching tv all night and talking. It was a rainy, dreary evening, foggy and all that lovely crapola. I was dead tired and I'm sure part of it was the fact that it was like nine thousand degrees in their house. Anyway... I spent the night there and I didn't make it home until around one today. *nods* Bad things, man, bad things. I'm sure my mom is super jacked at me... I'm not being the perfect little angel she expects of me. *sighs* I'm not living up to her expectations. *shrugs* Oh well...

In other news... :-p

Work sucks, looking for a new job. Might even call about this classified ad I saw tonight. Ummm... Lotsa birthdays happening. Gotta get my nephew something for his... Guess I'm gonna call my sister tomorrow and then go shopping for him.

Alright... I'm tired of blogging. I'm outtie!

And again with the blogging....

You all know my life... it goes swimmingly for a while and then gets rather bumpy for a while... *shrugs* Of course is that not true of all of us? My life is more than the sum of it's parts. It's more than I can control completely and yet less than what it could be. I have so much to be thankful for and yet just like everyone else I find that I want more. It's not material things I wish for but for peace... peace of mind, peace from stresses, and most of all peace for my loved ones. I have these epiphanies but it's the follow through that I find lacking. I'm sure none of this is making sense to anyone who reads this... but that's ok. It's for me to look back on and remember.

Oh and with all the crap going on in my life... I had the biggest smile put on my face with one little text message today. For that, I thank Jill. She makes the sun shine even on the darkest of days.

The direction Wal-Mart is headed

I am posting here an opinion article I found online after hearing that Wal-Mart Canada is now selling "sexual well-being" devices.... I'm not voicing my opinion on this matter just showing you the news and how adamently people feel about it...

U.S. Wal-Marts should ease censorship policies
By Melanie Valm

October 04, 2005
Patrons can now find sexual pleasure in Canadian Wal-Marts.

The store that censors its CDs and video games and takes magazines it deems too sexual off its shelves is now selling vibrating rings.

This, surprisingly, is a promising move and would be a positive step for Wal-Marts in the United States to follow.

The rings are part of a new product line Trojan developed for women called Elexa. The line includes condoms, lubricants, freshening cloths and the vibrating ring, according to retail-merchandiser.com, a Web site featuring in-depth coverage and analysis of key issues and trends affecting modest-margin retailers.

Wal-Mart decided to sell the products because the store caters to mainstream Canadian tastes, according to a Sept. 17 article in Canada’s Globe and Mail. Trojan’s goal in producing the line and selling it in department stores is to make women comfortable when buying “sexual well-being products,” according to the article.

Although Wal-Mart censors its CDs, video games and magazines, selling the Elexa products is a step forward for the company’s Canadian stores. Stores such as Rite Aid and Walgreens in the United States already sell the rings, according to the Trojan Web site. Why not Wal-Mart?

The introduction of sexual products beyond condoms could ease people’s minds and make the discussion of sexual pleasure more publicly accepted in the United States. Instead of having to make a potentially embarrassing trip to a sex shop for a sex-enhancing toy, Wal-Mart really could become a one-stop shopping paradise.

Customers may think selling vibrating rings goes against the family-values stance Wal-Mart has a reputation for upholding.

An Edmonton, Alberta, boutique owner expressed curiosity about how Wal-Mart can display the products when sex shops in the city have to cover their windows so minors cannot see in, according to the article.

These apprehensions are unfounded. Selling a vibrating ring in a discreet package with a condom included has nothing to do with family values. On the contrary, if a wife is unhappy and wants to increase her sexual pleasure, it would probably work wonders as far as making her happier.

And when mom is happy, everyone is happy.

The vibrating ring is the only questionable product in the Elexa line. The other products, including condoms, lubricants and fresheners, women can already find at most drug stores in the United States.

A few sex shops in Edmonton have voiced concern about the competition Wal-Mart brings, according to a Sept. 18 Edmonton Sun article.

Wal-Mart, however, is selling one kind of vibrating ring as part of one line of sexual well-being products. Wal-Mart does not have an array of sex toys lining its shelves.

Customers who go to Wal-Mart and other drug stores and are willing to stand in line with a discreet box advertising a sexual product are the easily embarrassed customers sex shops most likely do not have to worry about losing — in Canada or in the United States.

Wal-Mart executives’ choice to include Elexa products on its shelves is a progressive step. If the company took the same step in this country, it would help people be more open and honest about their sexuality and help them become more comfortable and receptive of the natural act.

Maybe Wal-Mart will begin to loosen its censorship standards in other departments as well. This is a case in which the United States should follow in the footsteps of its neighbor to the north

Nothing to report, Captain

I have nothing of interest to post... *shrugs* I've not been up to much. Just work and spending time with Jill. She's coming over today and I'm making dinner.

I seem to never get to talk to some of my friends online anymore. It's rather disappointing. We all have different schedules now and never are around at the same time. I miss those conversations. Hopefully, we'll catch up soon.

I'm off to cook now!

Wish it wasn't like this

So here it is... twenty to three in the morning and Jill just left. We both were nearly falling asleep watching the Green Mile and with everything that's gone on as of late she decided to go home. I hated her leaving. Utterly hated. I wish we didn't have to put up with this situation. I can't wait until she gets her own place. Never hafta leave. I don't really have much to say... and to be honest I'm not sure why I"m blogging this. I just know that I love Jill.

Revelations

I learned a few things the past day or two... things that make the old scoundrel a bit thoughtful. Every obstacle a chance to improve our situation... right? What I need is focus. A conscious effort to not be a reactionary. I will act in the moment; not react to it. *nods* It sounds so simple but is so difficult to practice... just like so many other things. Anyway... I don't feel like blogging so I'm gone.

Was it right or not?

So yesterday was Jill's birthday... I got up got around and went to Mifflinburg to buy some flowers. The flower shop in town was closed so I headed to Lewisburg to pick up my flowers. I finally got what I wanted and went to pick up Jill. We went to Ruby Tuesday's for dinner and to the mall. We watched Flightplan at the Cinema Center and then went to Mark and Christina's and played scene it until 2:30 in the morning. I took Jill home and we just kinda hung out talking... Now as you know mom's been on my case about my relationship with Jill and I've told Jill about it. Jill wanted me to stay and I told her that I should come home so I wouldn't have to face the Spanish Inquisition. So I came home at three thirty in the morning. I left. I left Jill. *sighs* I feel really crappy for disappointing her. I could see it in her eyes... I could see how disappointed she was. I hate that. Just to make my life easier I upset her. Did I do the right thing? I dunno... but I do know I shouldn't hafta worry about things like this.

Addendum to previous

Ok... so things have kinda settled down here a bit. *sighs* I dunno if it's a good thing or not. I just don't know anymore. I know that I'm going out with Jill tomorrow and I don't know if or when I'll be home.

Oh! And Jill's present now says it won't be shipped until the eighteenth. Maybe I'll just give it to her for Christmas.

Anyway... I'm gone!

Back to feeling beaten

So tonight I came home from work and my mom says she's frustrated. Frustrated with everything. She was telling me what's on her mind and it came up again. Jill and I... our relationship. Mom doesn't feel that our relationship is normal and healthy. I have no freaking clue what she's thinking. She thinks it's all lust and animal tendencies or something. I can't believe she doesn't see how Jill makes me feel. I've never been around anyone who's made me feel so relaxed or so loved in my life. She keeps complaining about the hours Jill and I keep. Jill works third shift... It's difficult to find time to be together. At least at times mom thinks is "normal" or whatever. She thinks that I am clinging to Jill because I'm afraid I won't find someone or that I'll end up alone or whatever. I wonder what mom would think if I didn't live here... If she didn't know when Jill and I were seeing each other. She tells me that she doesn't say stuff just to upset me... I truly wonder sometimes. I think if I had moved out before I got together with Jill... or anyone for that matter, things would be so much nicer. I thought things were going so well the past two weeks or so... *sighs* I don't even wanna think about it anymore right now...

Tomorrow is Jill's birthday... I'm not gonna let this affect her special day. There is already enough going on without this bull. Jill's present still hasn't arrived and I'm fairly worried that it won't come tomorrow before I go pick her up.

In other news... nothing's going on. :-p

Bon Jovi: Lay Your Hands on Me

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Where could he be?

I guess it's been a few days since I left everyone in on what's happening with me... I've not been near my computer for a few days and as it is... I'm in front of Seth's and not mine. Lessee... since I last blogged what's been goin on?

I last blogged on Thursday I believe... early Thurs. morn at that. What have I done since then? Friday I didn't do a whole lot that I recall. Shopping and out for dinner.... Oh! I did a little reorganization to my room. All of my dvds are now in alphabetical order and off of my floor... all couple hundred of them. My room is more organized... and more cramped now. LOL!

Saturday Jill and I went to Lancaster to the outlets. The Tanger Outlets and The Rockvale Outlets. We spent the night at The Rockvale Village Inn. WE came home on Sunday and kinda chilled for a while. Spent the evening relaxing and talking.

Today? After Jill left this afternoon, Seth and I went out to eat, to the mall and came back to his place. We went through a ton of comic books that one of our friends gave to us and now we're just chilling.

That's all the news... not that much of that would excite anyone who reads this I suppose... LOL!

I'm outtie!

Boy the world looks small from up here

I'm simply floating... I'm higher than a kite and it's wonderful! *chuckles* I guess I should tell you what's been going on...

Yesterday was spent shopping with Mom and Monica... Long boring day shopping interspersed with some moments of laughter. Last night Jillian came down... we all hung out and talked and laughed. Got up today and unfortunately Jill had some business to take care of so she left and Mom, Monica and I ran around a little bit. Whilst out tonight, I got a text from Jill that has put me on such a high that I doubt I'll come down from it for days. Oh and of course I played a ton of DoD tonight. ;-p

Now I think I'll chill for a bit and then go to bed... payday tomorrow! I got things to spend money on, baby!

Long day... long night....

So today... I did absolutely nothing!!! I played DoD most of the day... watched some tv and chilled. Great times!

Called Jill tonight... Now I'm feeling bad. My honey is sooo frustrated with getting things together for her place. Permits and taxes and a whole lotta bull! I wish I could make things better for her... *sighs* At least tomorrow I get a chance to try.

I'm outtie for tonight... gonna hit up the mall and things tomorrow before I get to hang with my sweetheart.

And the beat goes on... dum de dum da-da

So yesterday... I got up, got showered and Mom, Monica and I went to lunch. Sat at the picnic tables outside of a local McDonald's (mom's choice of restaurant and venue) and ate. Saw a friend from work and of course got asked about this particular female because I must be some sort of playa or something. *shakes head* From there we went to the Street of Shops in Lewisburg and walked around. Then we went to *fanfare* stinkin' wal-mart! On my vacation I got drug to wal-mart!!! We came home and chilled for a bit and then went to Gram and Pap's because of course it was Sunday evening. Came home from there and what did I do? *grins* You guessed it... played DoD! I ended up being ranked number one on this server by the end of the night. *smiles* Then I called Jill and talked to her for a while. Finally to bed and sleep.

Now I just got up a little bit ago and my plans for today are as follows.

1. Do what I want, when I want.

Case closed!


I'm outtie! Lata!

My vacation begins....

So as of seven o'clock Friday evening my eleven day vacation began... I took this vacation because Mom and Monica were gonna go to Maine for the week. Well, that isn't gonna happen so I'm gonna be stuck with them for most of it.

Jill and I went to the movies last night... The late showing of 40 Year Old Virgin. Hilarious film, though the main character did remind me of me... LOL! I stayed at her place last night and apparently I came home without anyone noticing me walking in. Watched the nephews and nieces tonight... *shakes head* What a handful!

I bought a bunch of new figures and the new version of DoD the other day... I need to bring them into the house and sort it all out. Maybe I'll do that now...

I'm gone!