Another night of monotony....

I need a life... Like one where things actually happen. I spent my day at work like most days. Bored and talking to the people I work with. Our video vendor thought of me with one of the new releases that came out today. Ron White's DVD "They call me Tater Salad" came out and she hand delivered a copy to me. I came home from work after filling my car up with gas and buying Mom and I supper and we watched it. Then we watched a little tv together... Now I'm chatting online with a few friends and thinking about playing DoD. Mom's sitting in my room because apparently I'm too loud... so I thin I'm outtie and gonna just chill. Lata!

That's it?

That's it? My day off is over already? I didn't do much today. I played some DoD, drove around for a little bit, got in a phone call or two, car shopped a little and had some fun with a good friend. I was bored later in the day though. *shrugs* Back to work tomorrow... I'm sooo enthused. Can ya tell? Anyway, I'm outtie for now.

Big Pimping

Ok, so what the heck happened? Tonight was an interesting night at work for me. There was some intriguing conversation in the lounge at work and then... I was hit on by a couple of 14 year olds, flirted with a fortysomething divorced mother of two (who happens to be a friend's mom) and then a chica that I believe has a crush on me come in. What did I do to deserve all this attention? I sorta like it but it also unnerves me... I'm not used to it and I don't know how to handle it. ROTFL!

What else is goin' on? I went to the parade today. Nice parade just not a lot to take pictures of. I was kinda disappointed. Mom wants me to wake up early and get back to going to church with her tomorrow. I don't think I can crawl outta bed early enough to do that. There were fireworks at the nursing home across from the store tonight and that certainly impacted business. Oh, and I talked to the ex little chica last night. I read her profile on AIM and was concerned... She seemed to be having issues so I wanted to check on her. She said that she appreciated the sentiment but that she was fine. Not much else.... I played a little DoD last night. I'm down to number four in the rankings because no one is ever on anymore. Anyway, I'm gonna go see if anyone is willing to play. I'm outtie!

Somebody Slap Me!

Today was a pretty cool day and a pretty sucky day all rolled up into one day...ROTFL! Being Friday it was a decent day at work because everyone who doesn't have to work the weekend was in a good mood. I have two chicks interested in the old scoundrel and one showed her claws staking her claim today... *chuckles* I'm flattered by these two but business and pleasure don't mix. Besides, the ex was in the store the other day and it hit me how much I'm attracted to her and how much I wish things between her and I were different.

In other news... Tomorrow I'm supposed to be going to the parade in Lewisburg with Mom. Should be a good oppurtunity to take some pics. Of course this means I'll have to wake up fairly early but... sacrifices must be made for what I love.

What else is going on? Well, I still kinda feel like Jim from American Pie. Long story but I'll just say that things are getting better and I'm trying to sort through my life and work out who I am, where I'm going and what I believe. It just may take a lifetime.

Anything else rattling around in that little brain of mine? Yeah! I wanna play DoD! I tried to play last night but since the SAA guys are no longer renting the server... it just says "Rent Me / $80 per month" and no one seems to play there anymore because of all the imbeciles who can't be banned or kicked without an admin on duty.

Ahhhh! I'm outtie! I'm gonna go have some fun!

American Scoundrel

Well... it's been an odd couple of days since I posted last. Work, sleep, comp... the usual. Some things are just inevitable I guess.

I spent tonight out with Seth. Went to his house right after work and we hung out. Had a good time and we talked about some major things in both our lives. He is the one person whom I trust almost implicitly. He understands me more than anyone else in this world. We had a great conversation and to be honest I feel better about not knowing where I'm going since I talked it all out with him.

Work's been... the same as always. Although today I got some just wonderful news (heavy sarcasm there).... We hired a new associate for electronics. Shannon, a girl who worked at the store before and had a HUGE crush on me.

Home... well that's an interesting topic. It's just not peaches and cream at my abode. I really wanna move out. Something happened the other night that should not have and well.... It's just a great thing. LOL!


Anyway... Since I don't have anything really to say... I'm outtie!

Sunday, Bloody Sunday!

Today was Father's day... The first without my dad. I tried not to think about it. I spent the day with Mom and Monica. We went to the "evil empire", they bought presents for their dad's while I stood and chatted. We then went to the street of shops in Lewisburg. It's an interesting little antique/flea market thingy. We then went to Bonanza for lunch but we saw they were lined up in the freaking parking lot so we turned around and went to the Fence Drive-In for some fish sandwiches. Had a very pretty waitress who's name was Kristy. That made up for not getting to eat a nice fat steak. ;-) Of course this being Sunday we went to Gram and Pap's this evening. Went to eat, drove up to Walker's Lake and I took some photos. We then took Gram home and waited for Pap to come home from visiting after church. I came home to an interesting surprise. The ex little chica left me a message saying hello. So I politely returned her message and we had a nice little conversation. I'm glad that she and I can still talk. I'm glad that someone I've dated is capable of normal conversation after breaking up. I'd be lying if I said that I didnt' still think about her... I feel like I'd never really gotten to know her real well. I wish I would have. Of course, I still think about all the ladies that have been in my life. There haven't been many... Enough that the old scoundrel should have learned more than he did though. *shrugs* Someday I may get it right.

Oh, and in other news... While out running around with Mom and Monica we stopped a few car dealerships. I found a nice 2001 Chevy S-10 Xtreme, navy blue, 36,000 miles, auto, ac, etc. for $12,000... I emailed the dealer when I got home and we'll see what the story is. I'm excited! I like it and Mom isn't having a cow about me wanting to buy it so... *fingers crossed* I need to test drive it though... It doesn't have the 4.3 liter V6 like I'd hoped. It's got the 2.2 liter flex four in it. Time will tell.

Anyway, I think I might go play a little DoD with the idiots. Last night was more hacks, cheaters and dorks but I had fun in spite of it all.

I'm outtie for now!

Can't sleep.... Clowns will eat me!

Oh where to start? Lessee... *ponders* My life totally sucks right now. I know that's just my perception and there are a few good things goin' on but I'm just in a pessimistic mood.

Today was my six year anniversary at the "evil empire". It's been six years since I graduated from high school and went wide-eyed into the workforce. I've learned a lot about a few things through working in the job I do. But nothing totally life altering or even life affirming.

I was playing some DoD tonight... I'm sick of hacks, cheats, whiners and just downright idiotic people. I deal with enough dumb people at work; I don't need them encroaching on my leisure as well. *blows a raspberry to stupid people everywhere*

I'm sick of living in my house. I need my own place. When I'm yelled at for not playing frisbee with the stupid dog it's time to get away from my mother. I love my mom and Monica to death but... I can't take the constant nagging anymore. So, I'm officially looking for a place and someone to split the bills with.

My nephew is spending the night tonight. He's a sweet kid but his mouth is in perpetual motion. Asking questions and just dying to be in conversations. *sighs* Mom says he reminds her of me when I was that age. I musta been annoying as can be.

Tomorrow evening we're watching my nieces. This should be a treat. A two and half year old and almost one year old. *goes to find the ear plugs* I shouldn't say that... I love those little girls. They are fun.

Work today was a treat. People are committed to doing as little as possible. I like to goof off sometimes myself but we have people who don't even show up and one or two that might as well not. I keep telling myself that I love my job but then I remind myself not to lie to me.

On the "up" side of things. I got a phone call last night. A young lady from work would like me to give her a call sometime. This is a good thing but even this presents issues. I don't like the thought of mixing business and pleasure even though ya'll know I was talking about the asst. mgr. at work. This one is a real possibility and well.... as much I as I think I need it... I'm scared of consequences.

The ex... *sighs* Oh, the ex. When does it start not feeling so awkward? I would jump at a chance to get back with her. Even if she is a bit young. I still think she's a sweet little thing even if she kicked me aside. It's so weird not hearing from her. But I guess I'll get used to it.

This is my life right now... and it just kinda sucks. Where are all the cool things I'd hoped for and dreamed about? Blah! I'm outtie! Hopefully tomorrow looks brighter to me.

Jay-Z: 99 Problems (edited)

If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a b***h ain't one

[Verse One]
I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol
Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed
Rap critics that say he's "Money Cash Hoes"
I'm from the hood stupid what type of facts are those
If you grew up with holes in your zapitos
You'd celebrate the minute you was havin doe
I'm like f**k critics you can kiss my whole a**hole
If you don't like my lyrics you can press fast forward
Got beef with radio if i don't play they show
They don't play my hits well i don't give a sh*t SO
Rap mags try and use my black a**
So advertisers can give em more cash for ads...f***ers
I don't know what you take me as
or understand the intellegence that Jay-Z has
I'm from rags to riches nigga i ain't dumb
I got 99 problems but a b***h ain't one
Hit me

[Chorus]
99 Problems but a b***h ain't one
If you havin girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a b***h ain't one
Hit me

[Verse Two]
The year is '94 and in my trunk is raw
In my rear view mirror is the motherf***in law
I got two choices yall pull over the car or
Bounce on the devil put the pedal to the floor
Now i ain't tryin to see no highway chase with jake
Plus i got a few dollars i can fight the case
So i...pull over to the side of the road
And i heard "Son do you know why i'm stoppin you for?"
Cause i'm young and i'm black and my hats real low
Do i look like a mind reader sir, i don't know
Am i under arrest or should i guess some mo'?
"Well you was doin fifty five in a fifty four"
"Liscense and regestration and step out of the car"
"Are you carryin a weapon on you i know alot of you are"
I ain't steppin out of sh*t all my papers legit
"Do you mind if i look round the car a little bit?"
Well my glove compartment is locked so is the trunk and the back
And i know my rights so you gon' need a warrent for that
"Aren't you sharp as a tack are some type of lawyer or something?"
"Or somebody important or somethin?"
Nah i ain't pass the bar but i know a little bit
Enough that you won't illegally search my sh*t
"Well see how smart you are when the K-9's come"
I got 99 problems but a b***h ain't one
Hit me

[Chorus X2]

[Verse Three]
Now once upon a time not too long ago
A nigga like myself had to strong arm a hoe
This is not a hoe in the sense of havin a p***y
But a p***y havin no Godd**n sense, try and push me
I tried to inore him and talk to the Lord
Pray for him, cause some fools just love to perform
You know the type loud as a motor bike
But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight
The only thing that's gonna happen is i'mma get to clappin
He and his boys gon be yappin to the captain
And there i go trapped in the kit kat again
Back through the system with the riff raff again
Fiends on the floor scratchin again
Paparatzi's with they cameras snappin them
D.A. tred to give the nigga the shaft again
Half-a-mil for bail cause i'm African
All because ths fool was harrasin them
Tryin to play the boy like hes saccarin
But ain't nothin sweet 'bout how i hold my gun
I got 99 problems but this b***h ain't one
Hit me

[Chorus X3]

You're crazy for this one Rick
It's your boy

The Rain on the Roof

I'm sitting here listening to the rain pound away at the roof of my house. I've told you before how I love thunderstorms and this one is no exception. I'm sitting here thinking about so many things. I'm finally not in charge of our dept. any more. It's been a heck of a trip. New manager, thieves, orders not getting placed when I said they should be... etc. I'm also thinking about some of the ladies in my life. I love all the ladies as most of you know. *chuckles* I spent most of my night flirting with a few of the ladies at work. I should be careful in that though, I know that one or two of them like me and I'm not sure about how I feel about them. In that vein of thought, I was thinking about how nice it would be to be out in the rain with someone tonight. Yes, I sound like a sappy pathetic old fool but I miss the romance in my life. I know I'm supposed to be the one and only scoundrel but I can't help it. Ah well, live life and things will work out. I'm outtie for now and keeping it rollin'!

House of Pain: Jump Around

Pack it up, pack it in, let me begin, I came to win, battle me that's a sin. I won't tear my sack up, punk you better back up, try an play the role, and the whole crew will act up Get up, stand up, c'mon put your hands up, if you got the feelin, jump across the ceiling. Muggs let the funk flow, someone's talkin junk yo, I bust em in the eye, then I take the punks ho Feelin, funkin, amps in the trunk and I got more ryhmes than the cop's at a Dunkin, donut shop, sure enough I got props from the kids on the hill, and my mom and my pops I came to get down, I came to get down, so get out your seat and jump around
Jump Around 3x

Jump up, Jump up and get down

Jump (chant 17x)

I'll serve your ass like John Mchenroe, if your girl steps up I'm smackin the ho. Word to your moms, I came to drop bombs, I got more ryhmes than a bibles got psalms. And just like the prodigal son I return, anyone steppin to me you'll get burned Cause I got lyrics which you ain't got none, if ya come to battle, bring a shotgun But if ya do your a fool cause i do to the death, tryin to step to me you take your last breath. I got the skill, come get your feel, cause when I shoot, I shoot to kill. I came to get down, I came to get down, so get out your seat and jump around.
(Chorus)

I'm the cream of the crop, I rise to the top, I never eat the pig, cause the pig is a cop Or better yet a terminator, like Arnold Shwrezeneger, trying to play me out as if my name was zeger. But I ain't goin out like no punk bitch, get used to one style, yo and I might switch it up up and around then buck buck get down, put out your head then you wake up in the dawn of the day. I'm comin to get ya, I'm comin to get ya, spittin out lyrics, homie I'm with ya. I came to get down, I came to get down, so get out your seat and jump around.
(Chorus)

Goodbye Gipper

I watched President Reagan's funeral this evening. I've caught bits and pieces of the ceremonies that took place all this week. Several things keep crossing my mind as all this unfolds. I've thought of the leader of the free world who was so strong in his convictions. I've thought of the simple man who enjoyed a good laugh even in adverse circumstances. I've thought of the frail widow doing her best to hold it all together and doing so with astounding grace and charm. I've thought of the loving, adoring husband who wrote love letters to his wife. I've thought of the staunch patriot who believed in America and its people. This man was a role model for generations. A man from humble beginnings who came to lead the greatest country in the world and bring an end to the "cold war". A man of wit, charm and grace who held his family above everything except his convictions. I got to thinking of how much I'd admired this man and then I thought of my father. I remember my father fondly but I also remember how poor our relationship had been. I got to thinking about how death can creep on anyone at anytime and how we should all be prepared for our meeting with death's icy hand. I haven't really come to any major conclusions through all this... but I have realized that I am grateful to both Ronald Reagan and my father and they were both good men in their own way.

Limp Bizkit: The One

Dead from all the loneliness
And this is how I feel
Understanding everything has never been my deal
Maybe you have crossed my path
To live inside of me
Or maybe you're the reason why
I'm losing all my decency

[chorus]
Cause I believe that you and me
We could be so...
Happy and free
Inside a world of misery
And I believe that you and me
We could be so...
Inside of you, inside of me
Cause this could be the one

This could be the one I've been lookin'
I've been lookin' for my Mrs Right
But she don't exist
Chemistry is everything
And we're anything but this
Maybe I have crossed your path
And swept you off your feet
Or maybe I'm the reason why you cry at night
Before you sleep

[repeat chorus]

This could be the one But what do you think?
We could give it a try
Cause you never know
Maybe we could be soul mates
But maybe not (maybe not)
But maybe so (maybe so)
If you never try
Then you'll never know
The grass could be greener (could be)
And it will always be greener on the other side
But you.. just never (never) know

This could be the one
I do believe that you and me
We could be so...
Happy and free
Inside a world of misery
And I believe that you and me
We could be so...
Inside of you, inside of me
Cause this could be the one

This could be the one But maybe so (maybe so)
But maybe not (maybe not)
Who knows? If you're alone
I know I...
If you can hide
Then go hide
Away
But I want you to stay, hey
And blow me away, away
I want you to stay
And blow me away
Away
If you're alone
Don't you vry
If you can hide
Then go hide
Away
I want you to stay
And blow me away
Your way
I want you to stay
And blow me away
Away
Your way

Stress, Stupidity, and Scoundrels

As most of you know, I'm in charge of our dept. at work while the dept. mgr. is on vacation. I now remember why I stepped down from this type of position before. My issues aren't as bad as when I had foods but they are the SAME issues. Not enough help, not enough time, and for some reason ,someone is always trying to tell me how to run my dept. I keep telling them at work that I'm gonna have an anurism before John returns. I hate all this stress stacked squarely on my shoulders. If anything does or doesn't happen in my dept. it's my fault, plain and simple because I'm in charge. The new asst. mgr. that I told you about before... I still think she's pretty cool but I tell ya what... she is all gung ho about the wrong things in my mind. I don't have enough people to try to pull off the kinds of things she wants to accomplish. And to be frank, some of her ideas are just downright upsetting to try to make happen. I need a new job... Mom keeps telling me to get my butt to school. She is probably right. Scary isn't it? Me agreeing with my mom?!?! Oh well... I think I'm gonna go shoot people now. I'm outtie!

What news is good news?

I don't have much happening in the way of interesting things to talk about. I spent my day playing a little of my game, babysitting the freaking dog, helped Phil set up his new fishtank and I replaced the blades on our mower. I went to town for some food afterwards... I shoulda known better than to go to McDonald's because she was working. It's such an odd combinations of things that go through my heart and mind when I see her now. She's such a sweet little thing, downright adorable but then I remember that she said she just wanted to be friends... I have never been given a reason. Whether it's that she's too busy for a boyfriend, that I'm too much of a dork, that she doesn't want anything serious or that I'm just a total loser, I'll never know. I'm tired... tired of it all... Where is my Camelot?

Today is a day for mourning

My world is shattered. I'm no longer the number one ranked player on SAA. ROTFL! I guess taking a few nights off will do that you. *chuckles*

In all honesty though folks, I must say that over the past couple of days I have paused to remember the sacrifices made by the brave men of D-day and the legacy of one Ronald Reagan. These are truly great Americans. Leaders who's courage in the face of outstanding opposition showed us the true meaning of living one's convictions. These men saved our world. They molded the world that we now live in. We are indebted to them, their courage, and their steadfast answer to the call of duty. God bless, them, their families and the great nation that they serve!

In other news... Ahhh, who am I kidding? There is no news from me.
I'm outtie!

Exhaustion Expo

I'm soooo tired right now. These past couple of days and the next few more are insane. We're working incredibly short handed. When we work with three people all day long that's a bad day. And there is so much to do too. The only plus side to this so far is that I met our new assistant manager. Wow! She's 19, pretty and her name is Treby. I might just end up losing my job or getting her transferred because I'm thinking about taking a shot. ROTFL! I spent a good part of my day talking to her trying to figure out how we're gonna run the show until we get some help in our dept. She seems to be a decent mgr. so far. We'll have to wait and see. Oh! And speaking of work, the idiot store manager talked to me today about moving up in the company. It was a nice boost to my ego even though I don't trust that dork as far as I could throw him.

Here's the real kicker for today. Not that I didn't have 9,000 things to do today and that drain the life outta me... But the ex's mother was in the store... Now she's a sweet lady so I went over and made some small talk... when I was leaving today, she came back in with the ex. Time to smile and be polite as I walk on by... God, she's gorgeous! *shivers* I miss that whole thing... but I've explained that previously. I want someone to love. *sighs*

Anyway... I think I might go watch a movie and then get blown up lots.
I'm outtie!

Who needs a title anyway?

Another one of those same Sundays I've been having for a while now. Get up, go do something with the family and then sit at the grandparent's until my grandfather finally wanders home. It's so sickening... It's gotten so old and tiresome that I can barely stand it. On the positive side, it's a free supper.

Mom and I went to a couple of antique malls and flea markets today... I bought a star wars figure and a R2D2 thingy... not sure what it once was but it's cool.

I have a few cds I need to copy... I just don't feel like it.

I think I'm outtie for now... work early in the morn and I'm no longer put full thoughts together.

Drunk In Public

I was listening to Ron White's cd the other night... I haven't laughed like that in a while... Check him out! www.tatersalad.com

I went to a friend's wife's graduation... Long story about how that all came to be. Most of you probably know it anyway and if you don't... I'm NOT explaining again. That was intriguing. I strangely enjoyed myself. I kinda got to thinking about my time in high school... I sorta miss it. Not the school but the friends I had, the hanging out and talking and just the silly goofing off we did.

I ran into a friend of the ex-little chica the other day. She asked me about her... I had to tell her that we weren't together anymore. It's sorta weird... *chuckles* Oh, and I saw her mom the other day too. I said "hello" and was polite and everything, her mom's cool. The ex-little chica had said she still wanted to be friends... but I haven't talked to her since. I dunno if I wanna be the one to initiate the first convo after this all. I'm still not even sure why she wanted to step back. To be honest I don't really care. I can't believe how I handled the whole situation and myself. I'm a freaking idiot!

Moving right along.... I just took a personality test and this is what it said...

Scoundrel, you're a Critic!

You're complex, thoughtful and never content to skate on the surface. Chances are you veer towards being so analytical and introspective that even positive qualities can seem like faults. The truth is that you have a very perceptive, gentle spirit.

You hate chaos at work and prefer a structured environment and sometimes you feel undervalued by your boss. There's a part deep inside you that's aching to make more money.

And that's just scratching the surface!


And now I'm outtie for now... I think I'm gonna watch a movie.

An Epiphany

I've come to a conclusion and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with it. I have come to realize that I wanted a relationship so badly that I was just happy to be wanted, even if it was only for a little while. Don't get me wrong, I still think that the little chica was and is a sweetheart but she probably wasn't all that right for me. I wanted her to be right so badly that I blinded myself to it. She's done me a favor in cutting me loose and I am grateful. I have been alone so long that I'm not sure how to act in a relationship anymore... I can't just let it come free and easy... I try to push and that's just not good. I still want a relationship badly. I want to spend loads of quality time with someone... I want to try to make someone happy. To bring joy to someone's life because through their joy I am happy. I need to find another romantic soul who is content just curling up all evening watching a movie... who likes to be surprised by flowers... who doesn't mind that I like to sit and stare into their eyes and want them to tell me everything... Applications available from my personal assistant... ROTFL! I'm outtie!

Play the Game

Victim of playing the game
Winning the heartache and the pain
Addicted to the possibility of something more
Sprawled…bleeding on the floor
Suffering from my favorite disease
Begging for a chance, just to please
Waiting for someone to love
Watching the flight of the white dove
Take me back to yesterday
Though it seems a million miles away
Searching back through just to find
Wherever it is that I lost my mind
Reset the players and the board
Watch as the lonely fools rush forward
Get back into the callous game
Live life and never be just the same

Yeah... Saw it coming

Well... it's official. She wants to go back to just being friends. I can't say that I'm too surprised. Oh well... life moves on. So ladies... the scoundrel's back on the market! ROTFL!

I'm Sorry

Dance with the Devil to the angel’s song
It all just keeps pulling me along
Ride the waves of the storm
Watch for the breaking of the norm
Foundations shutter and shake
Deafening silence follows the break

I’m sorry , you don’t see me at all
I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but fall
I’m sorry, you don’t really know me
I’m sorry, I can’t just bow below me

It was never like this before
I never used to run for the door
I don’t know how long I can abide
When I just want to curl up and hide
Take me back to yesterday
Take back all those things you say

I’m sorry , you don’t see me at all
I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but fall
I’m sorry, you don’t really know me
I’m sorry, I can’t just bow below me


---C.A.B

A Return to Madness

Well... that's it, my vacation was over today and I went back to work. I didn't realize how much I love the people at work. They are some of the coolest people I know. Of course our management team is a bunch of arrogant (edit for the kiddies out there).

Today is also my man Seth's birthday! A big shout out to him! You da man!

Yesterday, being Memorial Day, we had the grandparents back for supper. I made baked fish, baked steak, macaroni and cheese and Mom made baked beans, potato salad, deviled eggs, and a banana cake. It was a good meal and Mom and I didn't fight... much.

What else is goin on my life? Same chaos I keep telling you about and there's no need to repeat it. I guess I'm outtie for now!