Crash from the summit

I played DoD all night last night as I told you in my previous post. Today when I got up, I ordered our passes for Celebration 3 and I was flying high. For the first time in a long time I was excited about something. I had this convo with Seth yesterday about how I've been feeling in the last few months and he understood. Sometimes it sorta feels like he's the only one who understands me anymore. Anyway, I ordered the passes and was flying so high that I sat down and paid bills and did a few other errands that I'd been putting off. Then it happened.... Mom came home and she asked me about something she had talked to me about last night. There is a dog tied to a chain up the road from us... and that dog has been tied there for years. The poor thing can hardly stand anymore. Mom wants to take this dog in. We already have two dogs and my cat in this house. I said that I didn't really think we should take it in because according to the information we have, the vet said the most humane thing to do would be to put this animal down. Of course we can't make that decision because this isn't our dog. So mom wants to persuade the dog's owner to relinquish this animal to us so she can take care of it. She swears up and down that if the vet tells her that it should be put down she will. I know for a fact that the vet won't tell mom to do this because of how it was with Genny when we took her in. So we got into this huge fight over this. She asked how she coulda raised me if I'm this callous. I said that I didn't think we needed the extra tension in this house and she of course blamed the tension on me and started in about how I don't do anything to contribute to this family. She says she needs to make a difference where she can... she agrees that there are worse problems in the world, like cancer, aids, starving children and homelessness, but this is where she help. Then she started on me and how I have no purpose in my life. If she only knew how much time I spend looking for some. I can't stand it.... why am I always the bad guy? Am I this useless waste of humanity? Am I cold and callous? I need answers that I don't know how to find and I've spent so much time looking already. I feel like all I do is search for the meaning of my existence.

Idiots, Incompetance and Insanity

A'ight, so Seth and I were closing at the store tonight and it seemed every customer was helpless and hopeless. I just can't fathom this kind of idiocy being so rampant. People are rude for no reason whatsoever. I walked in and some jerk was yelling at one of our asst. mgrs. about this battery of his freezing. Well there are only two reasons a car battery would freeze. One: it's a manufacturing defect or Two: you're doing something stupid. This being this guy's second battery, I'm betting he didn't get two with the same defect. People were yelling for assistance from half way across the dept. My name is not "hey", "scuse me!", or "hey you"... and if you want to talk to me, please address me in an at least human manner rather than thinking I'm gonna come running when you gesture like you're hailing a cab. In spite of it all Seth and I had a pretty fun evening. We played DoD tonight too... the jerks just kept on rolling there too. It's all good though... we kicked booty as per usual. Now I'm gonna go read... lata!

=Marvel= Rules!

LOL! So it's like 5:10 in the a.m. and Seth and I just got done playing some DoD. We got a bit of a late start but it was a good night. We played on a server where it had to be aimbot time or something because guys were just too darn good. Afterwards we played on a server where guys were mad at me for killing them. Seth had a better score than me but since I had a machine gun I guess I was more visible. It was hilarious listening to them yell. Anyway... I guess I'm gonna go lay down and read some of my book. =Marvel= clan for life baby! I'm outtie!

|-|4><0|2$ |-|4+3 |\/|4|2\/3|_

A dedication to a friend

Video code provided by MusicVideoCodes.com

1337

So... Seth and I were talking about the hacker alphabet the other night. I decided that I had to school all you people in true Uber Hacker speak. So here's the alphabet and the common misspellings and so forth.

1337 is the language of hackers and newbies across the internet. Also, the words in 1337 are usually short(ie "are" becomes "r") and intentionally spelt wrong(ie "the" becomes "teh", this is most common with e switching places and o's becoming p's)

the mostly complete translation chart(exluding unicode characters, ie ©):
A=4 /-\ @ ^ /
B=8 ]3 ]8 |3 |8
C=( {
D=) [} |) |} |> [>
E=3
F*=# |=
G=6 9 (_>
H=# |-| (-) )-( }{ {-} /-/ \-
I=1 ! |
J**=_| j
K=|< |{
L=1 |_
M=/\/\ |\/| [\/
N=/\/ |\|
O=0 ()
P=|D |* |>
Q=0,
R=|2 |? |-
S=5
T=7 + ']'
U=(_) |_| \_\ /_/
V=\/
W=\/\/ |/\| [/
X**=>< }{ X
Y='/ %
Z**=2 z

Common mispellings:
the = teh
that = taht
take = taek
own = pwn
you = joo
dude = jood

common phonetic replacements(always used in true 1337):
f = ph
ck == xx

*there is no 'F' in true 1337, it is replaced by the 'ph' phonetic in true 1337

**acceptable when not replaced by a symbol
_|00 |2 4/\/ |_||\|1337 (_)83|2 |-|4><><0|2

Translation: You are an unleet uber hacker

There you are my friends... a complete schooling in one short lesson. Now go out and freak out your not as cool as you friends.

|D34(3 ||\/| 0(_)++|3

Loooong night

So last night was a long one. Seth and I worked together and then we got online and played DoD until the wee hours of the morning. *chuckles* Great times! After he decided he needed to go to bed, I stayed up and read. I didn't go to bed until the sun was coming up around seven this morn. I had a blast though.

Tonight? I didn't do a whole lot. Made some supper, finished my book, and played more DoD. Now all of the sudden I feel terribly agitated. I have no idea why. Maybe it's just pent up frustration. I wish I wouldn't feel like this for no reason. I would like to at least have a decent reason for being angry.

I think I'm gonna read more tonight and watch some basketball. Maybe that will calm my nerves. I'm outtie!

Hey... Wassappenin'?

My life? What's going on? Ummm.... A whole lotta nothing. *chuckles* Work, play games, sleep and read... then repeat! Been working on getting our plans for Celebration III fleshed out with Seth. I'm very excited about that... for several reasons. I need a vacation, it's Star Wars, BABY!, and I'll get to finally meet some of my online friends! Woohoo! *tries to think* Anything else I can ramble out? Nah... guess not. If you want things for me to blog about... call me! LOL!

Billy Joel: You May Be Right

"Friday night I crashed your party
Saturday I said I'm sorry
Sunday came and trashed me out again
I was only having fun
Wasn't hurting anyone
And we all enjoyed the weekend for a change

I've been stranded in the combat zone
I walked through Bedford Stuy alone
Even rode my motorcycle in the rain
And you told me not to drive
But I made it home alive
So you said that only proves that I'm insane

You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for
Turn out the light
Don't try to save me
You may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right

Remember how I found you you there
Alone in your electric chair
I told you dirty jokes until you smiled
You were lonely for a man
I said take me as I am
'Cause you might enjoy some madness for a while

Now think of all the years you tried to
Find someone to satisfy you
I might be as crazy as you say
If I'm crazy then it's true
That it's all because of you
And you wouldn't want me any other way
You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for
It's too late to fight
It's too late to change me
You may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right

You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for
Turn out the light
Don't try to save me
You may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right
You may be wrong but you may be right
You may be wrong but you may be right"

Taking back the fun

I've come to an important decision. My job has taken on the feeling of being imprisoned, watched ruthlessly always. I don't care anymore... I'm gonna have fun whether it's allowed or not. To steal all the joy from my day is callous and cruel, I KNOW my job, I DO my job and even if I say so myself, I'm GOOD at my job. I don't care anymore, I'm gonna do my job and have as much fun as possible. If they don't like it, then they can fire me. Happy associates make for happier customers in my mind and I'm gonna be happy even if it gets me fired. So I'm taking back the fun in my day and I'm gonna spread it around!

Simple Plan: Welcome to my Life

"Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life"

A thought forms

Truth is elusive and questions are more useful than answers. In the search we learn more than we are looking for. Is the only difference between right and wrong a matter of degree? Murder is wrong... but what if it is in self defense? Does that make the person any less dead? What if we only thought it was self defense but the person didn't actually mean us harm? How about in defense of our family, or our home? What if we provoke someone into attacking us? Does intent trump action? If we kill out of necessity but take joy in doing so, is that evil? Does doing the right thing for the wrong reason make it wrong? Or does doing the wrong thing for the right reason make it right? Life is more a matter of choosing than of knowing. The truth is always greater than the words we use to describe it.

More Confusion

Where does that line of dirt between your broom and dustpan go?

Why is it called a "hot water heater" when you don't need to heat hot water?

Why do doctors practice medicine? Shouldn't they know what they're doing?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but the person who drives a race car NOT called a racist?

Why does McDonald's put out signs that say picture menus are available... if you can't read the menu how are you gonna read the sign?

No financial institution will loan you money until you have a good credit rating... but you can't establish credit until you pay back a loan.... how's that work?

Ok... I think I'm outta questions for now. Maybe someday I'll understand things.

Confounding Concepts

Why do we call a lavatory a "restroom" in America? Do people go in there to just relax?

Is it what the teacher teaches or what the student learns?

Why are there braille numbers on drive up ATMs?

How can a woman pour boiling hot wax on her leg, rip the hair out by the root and still be afraid of a spider?

Is it paranoia if someone really is out to get you?

Why does your mind go blank when you wanna write a great post that you've been thinking about all day?

Unrelated Randomness

Ideals

So I was watching Gods and Generals and Gladiator while I was sick and it hit me... These movies are about the willingness to give EVERYTHING for something that you hold dearer than even your family. I mean most people are willing to lay their life down for their family but these ideals surpass even love for family. In the Civil War the men on both sides were fighting for something they believed in, the union of a nation, and the right to individual freedoms. In Gladiator Maximus is fighting for the preservation of the Roman Empire. Noble ideals that were worth fighting and dying for. Do we have anything in our lives that match that? Maybe that's what's missing... a cause that surpasses everything.


An odd sensation

I've been talking to an ex of mine lately. I spent the other night giving her guy advice. Felt kinda weird but kinda cool. Like I was helping her out, helping her find something that makes her happy. Good things I think.


An intriguing philosophy

"Pain is itself a god: the taskmaster of life. Pain cracks the whip, and all that lives will move. To live is to be a slave to pain. Sometimes pain is the only bridge to where you want to go. Pain can be power too. Power to change things for the better. That's how change happens: someone hurts, and sooner or later decides to do something about it. Suffering is the fuel in the engine of civilization. Pain is a god, but it is also a teacher, and a bridge. It can be a slave master, and break you - and it can be the power that makes you unbreakable."


A Song

"If I Was Jesus" by Toby Keith

If I Was Jesus, I'd have some real long hair
A robe and some sandals, is exactly what I'd wear
I'd be the guy at the party, turnin' water to wine
Yeah me and my disciples, we'd have a real good time.

Ooh and I'd lay my life down for you (woooooh)
And I show you who's the boss (woooooh)
I'd forgive you and adore you
While I was hangin' on your cross
If I Was Jesus.

I'd have some friends that were poor
I'd run around with the wrong crowd, man I'd never be bored
Then I'd heal me a blind man, get myself crucified
By politicians and preachers, who got somethin' to hide.

Ooh and I'd lay my life down for you (woooooh)
And I show you who's the boss (woooooh)
I'd forgive you and adore you
While I was hangin' on your cross
If I Was Jesus.

If I Was Jesus, I'd come back from the dead
And I'd walk on some water, just to mess with your head
I know your dark little secrets, I'd look you right in the face
And I'd tell you I love you, with Amazing Grace.

Ooh and I'd lay my life down for you (woooooh)
And I show you who's the boss (woooooh)
I'd forgive you and adore you
While I was hangin' on your cross
If I Was Jesus.

If I Was Jesus.

Back to the land of the living

So the past several days I've been sick. For the better part of four days, I've been laid up in my bed not feeling well. Today was the first day I had the energy to drag my butt outta bed and act human. So what did I do? I'm glad you asked... *chuckles* I went and picked up my check, talked to the folks at work and then went shopping. I went to the Susquehanna Mall looking for the next book that I need in the NJO and to the Selinsgrove Wal-mart. Bought a SW action figure and two movies but no book. Then I called home, talked to mom and told her that I'd get supper. So I went back to Mifflinburg, put gas in my car and stopped at the grocery store to buy hot sausage and steak fries. Came home and cooked, ate, and called to the bookstore at the Lycoming Mall. Drove all the way up there for my book, decided to stop at Toys 'R' Us and bought another SW action figure. I finally came home and watched both of my movies... I'm chatting and blogging now... then I think I'll hafta play some DoD and head to bed because I'm going to work tomorrow no matter what.... I'm outtie!

Green Day: Boulevard of Broken Dreams

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's f***ed up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

*lost look*

So yeah... should blog. Don't have anything to say though. Ummm... gonna bash all the Eagles fans at work. That'll be fun. I've been sitting at home playing DoD. Getting better at that game. I'm likin' it! Now I think I'm gonna go take a shower and then chill and watch tv. Lata!

Idiot? Need a job?

If you're a low life jerk... A boring, egomaniacal, lunatic who has deslusions of grandeur? Then have we got the job for you! Come be a wal-mart manager and terrorize your associates for great pay! Make their jobs miserable to the point of being almost unbearable and you'll go far! Treat these grown people like six year olds, tell them that even though their dept. has been called the best your superiors have ever seen, it's not good enough... EVER! Tell your associates that working together is not a great idea, they need to be more independent, and that if they are not busy enough they will be reprimanded severely. Watch their helpless reactions because you are the manager and they really have no recourse but succumb. Please apply in person so we can discuss the ethics violations you will get away with, the management team you will work with and have the opportunity to create wonderful doublestandards through. Base salary to be determined once we know how low you really can be... the lower you are the higher the salary! Limited time offer!

The Sith Code

There is no peace, there is anger
There is no fear, there is power
There is no death, there is immortality
There is no weakness, there is the Dark Side

I am the heart of darkness
I know no fear
But rather I instill it in my enemies
I am the destroyer of worlds
I know the power of the Dark Side
I am the fire of hate

All the universe bows before me
I pledge myself to the darkness
For I have found true life
In the death of the light

Rage

I can't explain the rolling emotion swirling through me. The world just isn't how it ought to be. It's cold, cruel and unrelenting. Yeah... I sound pathetic. Maybe I am. I'm out!

Freaks and Geeks

The collection of people that gather together at Wal-mart astounds me. You have white trash alongside the uppity rich, the rednecks and the sophisticates, children running wild and nursing home escapees all coming together in search of shopping nirvana at their local Wal-mart. Then there are days when the associates demand the same kind of attention... a twenty-something following around a forty year old almost-divorced mother like a lost puppydog and said 40 year old cramming her tongue down his throat, People greeters who are insanely cheery for no apparent reason, and psychotic people who think the company should bow to their every whim and serve them. Then there's the management team... a store manager who was investigated for numerous ethics violations, a nineteen year old who doesn't know how to do anything that her subordinates can do with their eyes closed, an arrogant egocentric dictator, a perpetually lost know-it-all who loves power and a flip-flopper who makes John Kerry look stable.


Yeah... no wonder Seth and I laugh so much at work, look at the material we have to work with. Anyway, today is my day off. I think I'm gonna have lots of fun. Run to the mall, play DoD, read... so I'm outtie!