The End of the Innocence

It’s not just the end of the innocence… There isn’t even a shred of it left behind. Not a remnant, a residual feeling… Nothing. This will be the long rant that I’ve been promising. So without further ado… here it is.


1) Monica is doing fine. She had her stress test today. She got the results of her echocardiogram and was told that it was fine and she was above average on her stress test. The tests from the other day, though not really related were also fine. They had checked her carotid artery and the blockage she has there. All in all, she has a reasonably clean bill of health and more than likely the pain in chest that sent her to the ER in the first place was merely acid reflux.

2) The article in Newsweek that I read that got my brain working…. VERY intriguing article. Basically it stated that most political news these days is not serious reporting but more political satire or very negatively portrayed. There is no more “here are the facts, you decide what they are” sort of political news coverage any longer. That got me to thinking about the upcoming 2008 election and how the current state of politics in the US will affect that. This so far is one of the most closely watched presidential races ever. There are six solid candidates thus far from the two major political parties and one or two others who may make things interesting. Now, no matter what you think about the current administration, will you be able to separate those people from their party? Will President Bush hurt the Republican party? The answer is ‘yes’ and it is truly a sad thing. President Bush is not the entire Republican party and with some of the casual voters out there they will not be voting so much for one candidate or another but against the current administration. So they will go find the polar opposite and hang their hat there without looking at the issues at hand and the candidates’ stance on them. I find this a truly frightening idea. We should be voting for best represents us and our ideals, not against someone whose political affiliation we do not like. Is that so difficult America? Understand the issues, understand where the candidates stand on them… and then vote for the one who best represents you and your ideals. Isn’t that more simple and accurate than voting against a political party???

3) The conversation with Jill is ongoing. Most of you already know the issue. Jill has still been smoking. She quit, she started again, quit and started yet again. *shakes head* She knows that I despise smoking. I have said to her that I won’t be with a smoker and that frightened her. I’ve also told her that it will take more than a nasty weed to separate us. *nods* The whole secrecy thing we got worked out. She swears she will never hide anything from me again and I appreciate that. She told me way back when, when this all came up the first time, that she would quit. It’s been a month or two since this all happened and she’s still telling me that she’s going to quit. I want so badly to believe her but it’s difficult. She told me the other night that she doesn’t really have an incentive to quit. Perhaps I should have waited to propose…. *shrugs* I love her so much but I’m not sure I can overlook this. She told me tonight that she will quit… and it won’t take forever. I told her that I’ve heard that before… There are people in my life that have told me they would quit many times and I’ve quit believing them because they just keep going back. I’ve lost faith in them and I don’t want to lose faith in Jill. If she’s telling me that she’s going to quit, I pray she does and not years from now…. I don’t want empty promises, I can’t accept empty promises. Broken promises, broken trust… broken heart…. I hope it gets worked out soon…

4) In boring news…. I had my nephew yesterday and today. He just kind of hung out here and relaxed. I got my car inspected and fixed…. That cost me more than I’d hoped. Tomorrow I’m going shoe shopping and then up to Jill’s. I mailed out our MS walk letters. Jill and I are going to purchase the shirts that we are turning into team shirts. Not much else happening… This is the most random paragraph EVER, I believe. Anyway… I’m out!

Pain, Politics, Philosophy all in practice???

I have so many things rattling around in my head that I'd like to post about... and each could be a long ranting post the likes of which you haven't seen in a long time from me, but sadly I'm tired. Perhaps over the next few days I can break each of them down and relay my thoughts a bit more adequately. I'll use this post as a sort of outline and take them one at a time.

First off... Today was the second in Monica's triad of tests since her little trip to the ER. So we spent most of the day at the hospital. Thus far all the tests have shown that she's fine but they don't know what is causing this pain in her chest.

Secondly... While at the hospital I read an interesting article on the upcoming 2008 election, the candidates and the press coverage of it all. I had some thoughts and I really want to share them and hear everyone's feedback.

Thirdly... Jill and I went to Paige's viewing tonight. Paige is the niece of a girl she works with. Paige passed away at the age of four. Terrible thing... the poor little girl had leukemia and all the things she had to endure.... *sighs and shakes head* Anyway... it made me think about recent events with Jill and I and..... *nods* anyway...

And lastly... Jill and I had a nice conversation about our relationship and things. I know, we're getting married and some would think that all those relationship things should be all solved... right? Nope! Any relationship is always a work in progress and if you don't maintain it, it can breakdown really easily. A word to the wise... always talk to your partner about your relationship... if you don't you won't have one.

That covers everything that's on my mind... *shrugs* Now I think I'm off to bed and hopefully I'll expand on a few of those things later. I'm out!

Dum de dum da-da

OMG!!!! A day off work with nothing major going on... It's almost a miracle. Getting the new store together and planning a wedding and trying to spend time with the people that matter to me.... I've been a very busy guy. One who isn't much for chatting or socializing anymore... but a busy guy, nonetheless.

The store is really coming together. We open on Weds. and I'm really hoping that things go smoothly. Thus far, things haven't gone as one would hope in that building. There have been problems and setbacks all along the way. It may be that we are a relocation, not a totally new store. *shrugs*

The wedding planning has gone fairly smoothly thus far... though we haven't really gotten into the big decisions. Jill has found a dress she likes, she's picked colors, we discussed the menu for the reception and we talked about who we would like to have in the ceremony. As I said before, we set a tentative date and I took her to Borders so she could look at bride magazines.

The past couple of days have been a blur of activity. Working up to twelve hours a day, six days a week and so on.... Saturday was Christian's birthday party. It was also the day that Jill's aunt Pete's girlfriend had an accident. We stopped out at the scene on the way to Christian's party. Ralphy is ok, but the truck.... not so much.

So here it is... Monday morning and I don't have a whole lot that I have to do today. I have to make a car payment and then tonight Mom, Monica and I are meeting Jill and her mom for supper and then off to V.I.P. night at the new store. Get to show off the new building to everyone.

Alright... I guess I'll get myself around and get today started.

Back at it again

I feel like sheer and utter crap at the moment. I did something really stupid... I told Jill about the conversation Mom and I had tonight. I shouldn't have done so. *sighs* I love Jill with all my heart and soul... and I know my mom only wants to make sure I'm making the right decision and one that I can live with the rest of my life. It all just .... *sighs* Yeah....

The good news is this.... *chuckles* She and I set a tentative date for the wedding. And no matter what, it's her and I against the world for the rest of our lives. :-)