Now I REALLY feel like crap

Just got off the phone with Jill... I told her about everything that happened yesterday... She was crying while I was on the phone with her. I hate when my baby is in pain. What's worse is that I feel like I caused this. I really want to just crawl off somewhere but that is pure cowardice. I've got to stand here and face this. Please, God, help me... heal all this pain in my family and I.