Fear

Jill came down last night, we went for supper and ice cream and then we watched a couple of movies. As we laid there I got to thinking about how my life has changed since we've been together. I've been taking on more responsibility, handling things that I used to just put off and that sort of thing. I'm amazed at how feeling loved, cared for and appreciated can make anything in life bearable. And as always, my insecurities and fears began to creep in... What if I do something stupid to screw this up? What if I don't measure up to her standards or her past? I know I'm being irrational, she's told me that she's not going anywhere... Now I'm just afraid that my fears will bring about what I fear the most. If I can't learn to control my fears, they will control me. I'll end up needing so much reassurance that it'll just push her away. I can't bear to let that happen. I WON'T let that happen!