An Open Letter

I'm sorry that I'm not who you want me to be, but I am not the terrible person you fear me to be either. I know that you are disappointed in me and I feel terrible about it. You have no idea how much it hurts me to see the pain, anger and resentment that I see in your eyes. I apologize for my shortcomings. I want you to know that I love you and I respect you for who you are, even though I know your dirty history and I hope you feel the same about me. I know you voice your opinions out of love and concern for me but I've got to make my own choices in life and live with them. As much as it hurts you, please allow me that in peace. I know it's difficult because I was there once with you if you recall. I didn't like your decisions but they were yours to make. I was willing to live with whatever choices you made and I pray you will do the same for me. I know it's hard to let go. I can't imagine how hard just yet. I've found a measure of happiness that I'm not willing to let go of and at times I feel like I have to choose between keeping the peace and pursuing that happiness. I have a difficult time bearing that stress and the pressure it puts on everyone in my life. I just wanted to let you know because I do love you.