Why?

Why did I post what I did? Why do I feel the way I do? The only thing that can come of it is me hurting the person I care about most in this world. I don't ever want to do that. I guess it's true what they say... You hurt the ones you love the most. I'm truly sorry. I just find it so difficult to go without seeing you. I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want to add to the chaos of your life. I just want to spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy. When we go for days without seeing each other I begin to think you don't want that from me and it feels like a knife in my chest. I know that I think too much and I worry too much... that's just me and part of who I am. I've told you before that I don't understand why you put up with me... It seems I can only cause problems and bring you pain. I love you, Jill. There is nothing in this world that can change that. Until my dying day I will love you.