Conclusion

I've come to a conclusion... I've reminded myself that no matter how much I care, how much I try to guide in the right direction, how much of myself I give, or how hard I try, people will be who they will and things will go as they will. Why was I ever foolish enough to believe that it would be otherwise? It's like I can see it all playing out before me, the failure sure as the sunrise but I must do my part, even HELP it to fail. Why was I trying to swim against the onrushing tide? The powerful play of life goes on and I must contribute my verse regardless of whether or not it's heeded or even needed. I'm not further along for having had this melt down but I do think I needed to remind myself that no matter what, life moves on whether we kick and scream that it won't. Yes, I still care for those whom I cared about before but I must bear in mind that I can't make things the way I want them to be or feel they ought to be. So when it's all beyond my hands I need to remember that it's ok for me NOT be in control and it's ok for me fight the powers that be as well. I just need to remember that I won't win every fight and when I lose not to dwell on it. I think my evening of solitude paid off immensely... *grins* Now let's get back to business of living.