Close your eyes and follow me

Where have all the simple pleasures gone? Why does every day offer only the same dull duties as the one before? I miss the spontaniety, I miss the jokes and camraderie, I miss... living. An amazing friend of mine always quotes that "if you lose the will to laugh you've lost the will to live"... I love to laugh it just happens less lately. I'm mired in this repetitive existance and when I try to break out of it, I end up hurting someone. I feel so trapped by the life that I made to protect to myself from experiencing pain. I have no one to blame but myself. Sure I can whine and moan about others in my life giving me grief about this or that... but if I ever would really set my mind to do whatever and maintain focus they'd eventually ease up... I think.

To those friends out there going through your own tough times... I pray you find your way through your own darkness. I'm slowly feeling my way through mine. I know the darkness well... I've come to linger in her embrace. She's a cruel mistress who slowly drains whoever she touches...but she speaks her own truth and for that I'm grateful. We all need to learn from the darkness and then learn to live again with her lessons.

"Come along follow me as I lead through the darkness
As I provide just enough spark that we need to proceed
Carry on, give me hope, give me strength
Come with me and I won't steer you wrong
Put your faith and your trust as I guide us through the fog
To the light at the end of the tunnel
We gonna fight, we gonna charge, we gonna stomp, we gonna march
Through the swamp, we gonna mosh through the marsh
Take us right through the doors (c'mon)

...If it rains let it rain, yea the wetter the better
They ain't gonna stop us they can't, we stronger now more than ever
They tell us "no" we say "yea", they tell us "stop" we say "go"
Rebel with a rebel yell, raise hell we gonna let em know"

-- Eminem