The Battle Rages On

Disclaimer: Some of you may not like this post. This is my blog about my life, so if you do continue to read and get upset, please remember that I did warn you beforehand.


Now some of you know that I have this friend, Jill. We've kinda been spending some time together and I kinda think things will progress. Jill and I went to the movies the other night and we just hung out afterwards. It was a nice relaxed evening and I fell asleep on the couch. Well, I didn't make it home until about five the next morning and mom was jacked that I hadn't called. Kinda hard to call when you're asleep... *shrugs* Jill and I went out today for lunch and we walked around the mall and just talked. She asked if I had plans for after work Sat. night. I told her that I didn't and that we could get together if she liked. Now I should tell you that Jill works third shift so she's up all night (sorta like me). So I asked mom if she'd have a fit if I didn't come straight home after work. This began an entire series of comments, rants, and questions that really hurt me. Mom asked about Jill's background and I told her what I knew. Apparently mom wants to hold Jill's past against her. Like people don't change, second chances aren't deserved, and the same idiotic mistakes are destined to be made over and over. Mom also told me that she'd feel better if she knew my "standards" were higher. I guess because I disagree with her about some things and I don't try to push my value system on others I'm some godless heathen who's beneath her. Mom is concerned about me going out drinking or becoming a daddy. Like I don't have enough backbone, courage or intestinal fortitude to stand up for what I believe in or something. *sighs* I could rant and rave for hours but I don't wanna... I already got it all off my chest with my man Seth. The one person whose opinion I value the most and whom I know I can tell anything and get support and feedback without a beatdown. So now I'm off and I'm gonna bury my face in a pillow and try to block it all out.