Pass the superglue!

I had a talk with a friend last night. I was shown the things I tend to overlook. I know they're there but if I don't pay attention to them they don't bother me. Now they sit there glaring, staring me in the face. What is it that I'm feeling? Anger? Disappointment? Disenfranchised? Just plain empty and numb? I don't know anymore. I had thought I was dealing fairly well... had my little world all taped up and moving along. I dunno about that now... I know everyone isn't totally happy with their lives. I know everyone goes through times of depression and doubt. Why do mine worry me this much?

*chuckles*

An epiphany... what I've said all along is right, I think. Screw what other people think. What matters in the end is that I live my life the best way I know how. I'm not listening to anyone's petty doubts or concerns any longer. My fears, my probs and my life is to be dealt with on my terms. Same goes for everyone else. I still care as I always have, but I'm gonna tell ya'll now, it's your life, your mess, you deal, YOU fix it!

Yeah... I'm thinking this through. I'm liking it. I'm MY concern. I'm glad to have friends that care and I value your opinions but in the end what you think is your problem and my life is mine. Yeah, I hate things about my life, but I need to face them on my own...My own time, my own terms, in my own way. I'm not saying I'm turning my back on anyone. I'm just saying that I'm gonna be more self-relient and self-sufficient.

Yes, I'll still have problems, but who doesn't? Yes, I'll still have crises, but who doesn't? They say what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger... I've survived this long, not gonna quit now. I may be a coward, but I'm a coward who's gonna try to live with himself. Courage isn't the absense of fear but the ability to act in the face of it.

I'm sure my world won't be rock solid and will still crumble from time to time but I swear I'll rebuild it again and again and again and again as long as I still have breath in this body.

Back up! Ya'll don't know me! You can't see me! I'm he who will not be kept down, stepped on or run around! Scoundrel Reborn!